I was recently at an awesome camp for a blend of people seeking the good life, entrepreneurs, and creatives. As one would expect, it was also blend of Introverts and Extroverts, and people on the continuum between the extremes of each type.
One of the salient points for me from the event was the conversations at meals, when there were opportunities to connect and network. What stood out was how isolating it can be for Introverts in a group of crowd of Extroverts.
The striking example of the which I have experienced 2 years in a row at this event was what I characterize as “Dueling Monologues” that sometimes occur in conversation, but in my observation are more common with Extroverts, since they rapidly vocalize what they are thinking. It’s biologically they way they are wired; using different pathways in the brain. (See my article on LinkedIn)
Dueling Monologues in my observation is a rapid exchange of one’s thought process “at” the other person; which is responded to by the other person’s thought process rapidly fired back. There seems to be no dialog (mutual self revelation) at play, or any self reflection or incubation for understanding or meaning before speaking or responding. Or when there is dialogue, it is “Dueling Dialogue” with a layer of exploring understanding; especially in our every increasing social environment.
And example of this was my experiences at the event mentioned above. I was in a small group and the conversation consisted of a rapid volley of “Dueling Monologues” between two people to the point that when myself and in one case another person, when asked for our views could not even get an response uttered, before being talked over by the “Dueling Monologues”. At the end of the time together, one individual even stated while making direct eye contact with me said “It was great meeting and talking with you”; to which my internal response was “Wow, Just WOW”. There was no getting to know me or even a chance for me to share anything about me, let alone listening, or talking with me.
In other interaction when the two people engaged in “Dueling Monologues” left the other person at the table and myself looked at each other in amazement and he just uttered “Wow”.
One of my personal points of frustration as an Introvert when in conversation with Extrovert, many who I love, and respect is the exclusion of Introverts in conversation, or the lack of nonrecognition of their differences in communication and accommodating them in conversation. This seldom occurs in my dialogues with Introverts.
Fellow Introverts, what have your experiences been?
What if any have your frustrations been in conversation?
Extroverts, are you ware of how you may be excluding Introverts and their awesome contributions to conversation?
11 Ways Introverts Would Prefer To Start A Conversation
How to Feel Amazing in a Conversation as an Introvert
Why Introverts Hate Small Talk (and Hacks for Meaningful Conversation)
How to have a conversation with an introvert